samcas:

the awesome thing about Sully is that he entertains the perfectly valid thoughts (“ever think about running away”) that torture Sam for his childhood and formative years. Because wanting a safe space from a negligent home situation is framed by John and Dean as the ultimate betrayal, as ungrateful, as selfish, as monstrous well into adulthood. Compare the way fandom contextualizes Sam running away in DSotM as one example with, you know, all those posts on here about self care and self spaces and looking after your mental health. You’d think a child who’s been brainwashed into “running into burning buildings since he was 12″, who had to learn how to shoot a gun at 9 years old, would fit into that. Oop. 

“you’re sam. sam is so awesome”: Sully values Sam for who he is as a person and not the function he can serve. Sam’s given approval by his family only when he fits into the hunting model and forsakes his goals and dreams. He was only valued by supernatural creatures because of the powers he gained through a non-consensual act done to him as a child and which he is repetitively punished for as an adult. There’s no reprieve from either side.

and you can see how that urgent need for approval drives Sam to do the exact opposite of what he really wants to do, to turn away from the one person who actually believed in him and was kind to him with no ulterior motives. Like how fucking desperate for love was this child to turn away from all of that, to pack that gigantic duffle which could fit two or three of him inside and head off.

but the really devastating thing about Sully when you think about it is that there’s nothing particularly amazing about him. Sully is what the norm should be. He’s the type of person Sam as a child (and children in general) should have, except Sam’s situation is so lonely and bleak and devoid of validation and acceptance that Sully seems fucking amazing.