Okay, so, I’ve been reading back over this message all day because it’s amazing and perfect and it’s definitely how their first time would go.
It took them a long time to work their way up to it. Longer than they might have guessed it would, because after living so close together for so long, how much more could there be to discover about each other?
But there was no reason to rush this. There was all the time in the world to get to know every last thing about each other. And as they worked their way from just making out to more than that, Dean was just- constantly in awe. Well, he was always in awe of Sam, of how strong but sensitive, caring and devoted and loving Sam had the capacity to be, even after everything in his life.
In all of the times he had imagined this- because of course he had imagined it before, how his brother would be in bed- he had thought Sam would be dominant, confident, the type to get what he wanted however he wanted it.
That wasn’t how it was at all. Sam was rugged, calloused skin and hulking muscle, sure, but he wasn’t forceful. He didn’t take, didn’t demand, didn’t act on lust alone. Dean didn’t tend to be cliche- he avoided colloquial romantic phrasing like it was the plague, really- but there was only one way to describe his first time with Sam.
Dean had fucked a lot of girls. Guys, too, he’d never been all that picky. But, as much as he hated the phrase for any other occasion, the only way he could think to describe it was that they made love.
And so maybe he cried. It was all too damn much and everything he’d ever wanted all at once. He was getting this, with Sam, who was so gentle and caring and loving and compassionate and perfect.
Sam worried at first, Dean could see it in his brother’s face as he hesitated. They were taking everything so slow, so careful, but Sam had still worried that he was hurting Dean somehow.
And Dean cried, because Sam was the only one who would never, ever hurt him. Couldn’t hurt him. And he stopped to make sure Dean was alright anyway, before lightly kissing the tears from his cheeks.
Anonymous sang: Dean definitely cried the first time he and Sam had sex. If you asked why, he couldn't fucking explain. It was a mystery, but he was fine with it. Real men cry. Not often while they're getting fucked by their brothers for the first time, probably, but still. It was beautiful and magical and Dean felt like a fucking cliché, but it felt so good that he couldn't care. Sam was so gentle and careful, like he didn't wanna break Dean. Ugh. Fucking tear ducts. Where's the off button? — secret santa :)
